{"title":"Sound Packs","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"now-get-out-sound-pack","title":"Now Get Out Sound Pack","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHE WILL GET YOU UP. HE WILL NOT BE NICE ABOUT IT.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTen alarms, ringtones and text tones in the voice of the Professor from Man Explains Everything. \u003cstrong\u003eFor iPhone and Android\u003c\/strong\u003e, both in the one download.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSomething has to get you out of bed every morning. It may as well be a man who is disappointed in you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS WAS THE APPRENTICE'S IDEA\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis pack exists because the Apprentice, who is in first grade, suggested it. She was right. Most good ideas come from people who are not me, and I find that deeply annoying. Thank you, Apprentice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHAT YOU GET\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne download, two folders:\u003cbr\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eiPhone\u003c\/strong\u003e: all ten sounds as .m4r files\u003cbr\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eAndroid\u003c\/strong\u003e: all ten sounds as .mp3 files\u003cbr\u003ePlus a HOW TO USE sheet, written for humans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE TEN SOUNDS, AND EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 1, The Build\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Right. It is morning. I checked. Up you get. No, not in five minutes. Now. Feet on the floor. Both of them. You are going to be late, and you are going to blame the traffic, you overheated duvet. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 2, The Lecture\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Good morning. That was sarcasm. You have been asleep for hours and learned nothing. Sit up. Eyes open. Yes, both of them. The day has started without you, and frankly it is doing better. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 3, Up\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Up. Up! I said up, you abandoned slipper. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 1, Somebody Wants To Talk To You\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Somebody wants to talk to you. I cannot think why. Answer it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 2, Your Telephone Is Ringing\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Your telephone is ringing. It has been ringing for some time. Pick it up, you stubborn mattress.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 3, I Will Not Get It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Telephone. Yes, yours. No, I will not get it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 1, Message\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Message.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 2, Brace Yourself\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Somebody wrote to you. Brace yourself.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 3, Just This Once\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Look. Just this once.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow Get Out\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHOW TO USE IT\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eiPhone:\u003c\/strong\u003e get the .m4r files onto your phone. On a Mac, plug the iPhone in, open Finder, select the iPhone and drag the files onto its window. On Windows, do the same with iTunes or the Apple Devices app. Then go to Settings, Sounds and Haptics for a ringtone or text tone, or Clock, Alarms, Sound for an alarm. They sit under Ringtones.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAndroid:\u003c\/strong\u003e copy the .mp3 files onto your phone. Then pick one in your Clock app as an alarm sound, or in Settings, Sound, as a ringtone or notification. Every Android maker names these menus slightly differently. You will cope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eREAD THIS BIT\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe alarms and ringtones repeat until you deal with them. That is the point. If you were hoping for gentle birdsong, you gently steaming kettle, you are in the wrong shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThese are for your own phone. Please do not pass them round. The money goes to the show.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Man Explains Everything","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67902616404203,"sku":null,"price":1.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0851\/6288\/5355\/files\/hf_20261008_183429_c6ee7b1c-0798-49e0-9b28-64adcda51490.png?v=1791486580"},{"product_id":"christmas-sound-pack","title":"Christmas Sound Pack","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHRISTMAS IS COMING. HE IS NOT PLEASED ABOUT IT.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEighteen Christmas alarms, ringtones and text tones in the voice of the Professor from Man Explains Everything. \u003cstrong\u003eFor iPhone and Android\u003c\/strong\u003e, both in the one download.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSomebody has to get you up on Christmas morning. It may as well be a man who has seen your list and is disappointed in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHAT YOU GET\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne download, two folders:\u003cbr\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eiPhone\u003c\/strong\u003e: all eighteen sounds as .m4r files\u003cbr\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eAndroid\u003c\/strong\u003e: all eighteen sounds as .mp3 files\u003cbr\u003ePlus a HOW TO USE sheet, written for humans who have had a sherry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE EIGHTEEN SOUNDS, AND EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 1, Christmas Eve\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Up. It is Christmas Eve. You have wrapped nothing, bought less, and the shops close early. Snow excuse. Up, you broken bauble. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 2, Christmas Morning\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Right. It is Christmas morning. I checked. Up you get. No, the presents will not open themselves, and neither will your eyes. Feet on the floor, you tangled string of fairy lights. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 3, Deal With Them\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Wake up. The house is full of Christmas idiots, and somebody has to deal with them. Your uncle has found the karaoke machine. The children have found the drum. Somebody has set fire to the pudding, on purpose. Somebody in this house has to be the sensible one. It will not be you, but you are all we have. Up, you overstuffed stocking. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 4, The Morning After\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Good morning. Christmas is over. I did warn you. You ate your own weight in pie and learned nothing. Sit up. Eyes open. Yes, both of them. The leftovers will not eat themselves, you burnt gingerbread man. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 5, Back To Work\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Good morning. The decorations are still up, and so, sadly, are you. Back to work, you itchy Christmas sweater. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlarm 6, Up\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Up. Up. I said up, you wonky paper hat. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 1, Season's Greetings\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Somebody wants to wish you a merry Christmas. I cannot think why. Answer it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 2, It Is Family\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Your telephone is ringing. It is probably family. Pick it up and be pleasant, you half-eaten candy cane.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 3, It Is Santa\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Telephone. It is Santa. He has seen your list, and he is disappointed. Answer it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRingtone 4, Not A Miracle\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Telephone. Yes, yours. No, I will not get it. It is Christmas, not a miracle.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 1, Ho Ho\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Ho, ho, ho. Do not get used to it. Message.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 2, Season's Eatings\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Somebody has sent you a photograph of their dinner. Season's eatings.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 3, Secret Santa\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Message. Somebody has organised a Secret Santa. Run.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 4, Mistletoe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Message. No, it is not from anyone under the mistletoe.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Tone 5, Yule Regret It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Yule regret reading this. Read it anyway, you cold cup of eggnog.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMerry Christmas\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Merry Christmas. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBah Humbug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Bah. Humbug. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy New Year\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Happy New Year. Same rules. Now. Get out!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHOW TO USE IT\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eiPhone:\u003c\/strong\u003e get the .m4r files onto your phone. On a Mac, plug the iPhone in, open Finder, select the iPhone and drag the files onto its window. On Windows, do the same with iTunes or the Apple Devices app. Then go to Settings, Sounds and Haptics for a ringtone or text tone, or Clock, Alarms, Sound for an alarm. They sit under Ringtones.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAndroid:\u003c\/strong\u003e copy the .mp3 files onto your phone. Then pick one in your Clock app as an alarm sound, or in Settings, Sound, as a ringtone or notification. Every Android maker names these menus slightly differently. You will cope. You coped with the in-laws.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eREAD THIS BIT\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe alarms and ringtones repeat until you deal with them. That is the point. If you were hoping for sleigh bells and a gentle choir, you are in the wrong shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThese are for your own phone. Please do not pass them round. The money goes to the show.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Man Explains Everything","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":68351791759595,"sku":null,"price":1.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0851\/6288\/5355\/files\/hf_20261103_191206_dbea9cf0-753f-411f-af36-8221f0f57e36.png?v=1793733453"}],"url":"https:\/\/manexplainseverything.com\/collections\/sound-packs.oembed","provider":"Man Explains Everything","version":"1.0","type":"link"}